lonely and SHIT

It’s much easier just to complain, to wallow in one’s sadness, feel sorry for oneself & just be afraid of life.

I’ve definitely felt that recently, it’s not just power-less-ness & overthinking, but also just not trying to improve myself.

Friendships & relation-ships are something mutual. You gotta put in effort to maintain it. And that really goes for anything in life, there’s gonna be stuff that you gotta put effort into.

It’s soooooo much easier to get caught up in “I’m not gonna do anything worthwhile”, dreaming & losing yourself in the possibilities of what ifs, making excuses for yourself and beating yourself up.

Being cooped up inside & feeling lonely is something that follows me, I thought that it was an environmental thing, but only so much of that follows you. I don’t think I put enough effort into maintaining my relationships & doing the things I love. (then again, who does). I’m scared of the future, when I think about it. I wish I could do “more” with less effort… there are alot of things I wish for. (But there is really no point in feeling sorry for myself, just forgive and move on.)

Being cooped up inside and crying about the relationships I don’t have, things not doing, things I wish I did before & just giving up.
When really the simple solution is just to start and keep going, no matter how small. (Also catching yourself when you fall).

Accepting that the ups and downs are a natural part of life, and there’s no point in getting angry or sad over it. Just gotta make the highs worth it/enjoy it… and catch yourself when you fall.

It’s ok to be sad and upset. Over people not replying, over not doing anything, over feeling alone. The worse-r thing is to let that shit stew into a disgusting soup.

Just go outside, walk for abit and listen to some music.

(And if you do really think about it, there’s nothing to be upset about. There are plenty of good things to happy & grateful about.
The family & friends you already have, the things you get to do, the things you’ve done & the things you’ve yet to do. Yes, the future is scary and time is fleeting. You’ve come so far, why not keep going? It’s definitely worth it.)

Love & peace.